Take for example, Gob’s Program

Taiwanese fishermen run aground at Padang Padang as locals make the best of a messy situation
“It didn’t take locals long to figure out that the Taiwanese boat had been illegally fishing in Indonesian waters. When the boat ran aground (Poor navigation? Too many Arak Attacks? Captain was wearing green? No one really knows why…), the entire crew of the vessel grabbed every bit of documentation they could and booked it on the Bukit. Gone. Audi 5000. Between the fines for illegal fishing and the cost of getting the boat off the reef, they were cutting their losses.”

What next?

Update: The intrigue increases…

“The whole situation got even weirder today when rumor surfaced that the captain may have been murdered by his crew.”

And I’m selfishly rubbing my hands together at:

” … this could make running our events—the Rip Curl Padang Cup & Rip Curl Pro Search—there impossible … “

So maybe me having a bit of a whinge about it here will have some cosmic effect on the outcome.  There’s also the possibility that they’ll move the waiting period forward so it’s smack bang in the middle of my trip!  Blurg…

So I pimped up my bike with some chunky dirt-lovin’ tires and BMX-style pedals, printed out some maps, and did a bit of exploring around the trails.  Funnily enough I’d stacked it within 100 metres of where the trails start, but thankfully that was the only one I had and there wasn’t anyone around to laugh at me!  A couple of hours later I’d worked out some pretty good trails and had a ball blasting through muddy puddles and charging some downhill sections, although probably still fairly basic-to-intermediate compared to some of the deeper trails I chose not to follow (this time!).

+1 mountain biking!  I’ll be out there again this weekend and will report back again once I’ve injured myself, and based on my ocean-based record it shouldn’t be to far away…

So what happened while I was away? Well, as usual I missed out on a nice easterly swell and thanks to my thoughtful mates for making sure I didn’t miss out on any post-surf glory stories. What else? Well, some of you may have seen the picture on the right, which turned up on Coastalwatch as their ‘Wave of the day’. Looks pretty scary, but further cemented my opinion that you can’t believe anything you see on the internet. Turns out it was, as suspected by many, a photoshopped fake… Which is probably a relief for some of my extended family who stay down at Forster every year for most of January!

So where do I start? I mean, I’ve already set the bar so high with thought provoking subjects like shoeys and scat-lovin’ chimpanzees, where do you go from there? Upcoming plans perhaps? DJ and I have finally gotten around to booking our flights home for festivus, and not a moment to soon since the prices had already gone up since we’d last looked. As usual we’ve got no idea what we’ll be doing for NYE, so to any of our friends reading this, we’ll be gatecrashing whatever party you go to!

About the closest I’ve come to a holiday recently was going to the Web Directions South conference in Sydney last month. I’ve been going every year since it started and in the past it’s been really interesting to get a close look at what’s happening at the cutting edge of web design and development. It’s usually half technical, half wishy washy theoretical stuff, but this year the wishy washy was in abundance. I tried to make up for it by eating at really nice restaurants, including one Korean BBQ at which I ordered the ‘Flaming Chilli Chicken, and was given the ‘are you sure?’ look from both the waitress and the two korean guys at the table next to us (who were sharing that dish and both sweating like donkeys). It looked so nice though, I couldn’t resist, and although it tasted just as good, it wasn’t so great the next day. nuff sed…

The surf up here has been almost non-existent for the last 6+ weeks. All of the East Coast surfers (there’s a lot of them), including myself, are starting to get a bit nutty which is manifesting itself in different ways. In fact, what I am typing right now may be a direct result of the boredom. Anytime there is the slightest increase in swell, every man/woman/grommet and his/her dog/mini-mal/fish are all over it from here to as far south as you can be bothered driving. Usually that’s not very far for me, that’s why I moved here!

Adelaide bound in the next few weeks and some spicy lebanese goodness in Hindley Street’s seedy underbelly…

Of the two following displays of vulgarity, which presents the greater threat to one’s personal health? Our thirsty little chimp friend innocently whetting his whistle? Or the the time honoured tradition of the ‘Shoey’ (regularily practised by my good mate The Regulator), which involves drinking beer out of someone elses sweaty shoe?

I’m pretty sure the chimp has the upper-hand. What do you think? I have asked a medical practitioner to ponder on this question and post his answer here, so stay tuned…

So anyway, I’m on the Trav-O-latorâ„¢ doing the whole Superman thing, zipping past the Trav-O-latorâ„¢-less plebs at high speed, even though I’m strolling at a leisurely pace. Suddenly in front of me appears a couple of nannas and their floral suitcases, standing completely still, blocking my way and violently jolting me out of my man-of-steel fantasy world when my heat vision fails to euthenaise them. Before I know it, I’m being overtaken by the plebs that just moments before had been left in my wake… I considered giving the nannas this very special award, but why give them all the glory when I can spread the love to all the other offenders out there! You know who you are, and to you, my Trav-O-latorâ„¢ blocking nemesises, I present the first Tool of the Month award.

* The long running Tool of the Week award has now been replaced by the slightly more realistic Tool of the Month award.

Hope I see you there!

Update: After 4 hours in the queue, I managed to get the tickets! Nice to see somebody has already taken advantage of Wikipedia to vent their frustration. I’ve screenshotted it -> in case the rant has been removed by the time you read this… (thanks hacked2death)

A bit of info from the Surfrider foundation:

Not only are jet skis harmful to the physical and natural environment, they are also a danger to humans. Jet skis, now 12% of all watercraft, are responsible for up to 40% of all boating injuries. Often, those who are injured are not PWC riders, but are other boaters, sailboarders or swimmers who couldn’t get out of their way.

I’m giving the Tool of the Week award to the particular guy who almost ran me over in about 3′ of water in the shorebreak today, only missing me because I was yelling obscenities at him and giving him the finger². He then proceeded to buzz me (and another guy also trying to communicate by way of the finger) and give me a serve of jabbering bullshit punctuated by a I’m-so-angry-my-voice-is-breaking crackle about how rules don’t apply to him. All the while setting a great example for the two children on the back with him…

Buddy, you win.