First Tool of the Month* award goes to…

People who stand still on moving walkways: Ok, there is no official ruling on this, but I certainly have an opinion: Keep walking! If you’ve ever flown anywhere domestically then you have probably one of these seemingly pointless contraptions on your way to a boarding gate. Moving walkways, also commercially sold as a Trav-O-latorâ„¢, is a conveyor belt that carries it passengers in a horizontal direction, unlike an escalator that carries yada yada… why am I explaining this? You know what I mean…

So anyway, I’m on the Trav-O-latorâ„¢ doing the whole Superman thing, zipping past the Trav-O-latorâ„¢-less plebs at high speed, even though I’m strolling at a leisurely pace. Suddenly in front of me appears a couple of nannas and their floral suitcases, standing completely still, blocking my way and violently jolting me out of my man-of-steel fantasy world when my heat vision fails to euthenaise them. Before I know it, I’m being overtaken by the plebs that just moments before had been left in my wake… I considered giving the nannas this very special award, but why give them all the glory when I can spread the love to all the other offenders out there! You know who you are, and to you, my Trav-O-latorâ„¢ blocking nemesises, I present the first Tool of the Month award.

* The long running Tool of the Week award has now been replaced by the slightly more realistic Tool of the Month award.